In loving memory
Laura S Gerarge
Soul sister and friend. Died of sarcoma on December 25. She was more than a good friend to me. We often thought we were soul sisters, connected through time. She was the epitome of love. I would leave her singing voicemails just to make her laugh. I would call her just to hear her voice. She was all about love and caring and generosity. She was an earthly angel. I know that she watches over me even now. My soul sister is not lost she has moved on to another part of the journey. She will be there when I get there and I will recognize her always.
We shared a love of the Wizard of Oz and all things Oz related. We share a love of people and a sense of responsibility for things around us. I know that she knew that I loved her dearly. I never hesitated to let her know that I loved her and I am thankful for that. I will miss her terribly. More than a friend. Laura was a good, honest and gentle soul. This place will be lessened because of her absence.
Laura, sweetheart, you were the best friend a girl could have. I will miss those times when we got to "bond" at Pedros or even in the cafe. I will miss knowing that you are there when I come to town. You've gone home. I will meet you there someday. Love you.
Christmas baking time
So, today I made a chocolate pound cake. I haven't made one in eons and I decided to make one for Christmas. Turns out that it may not make it to Christmas. Paul has been eyeing it rather closely. I splurged and bought that special baker's sugar and it seems have made a huge difference in the consistency of the batter. Only time will tell how good it is. It is still cooling in the kitchen. I can't wait to cut into it. I have been very good this year in regards to eating candy. We still have leftover Halloween candy in the house. Did I lose my sweet tooth?
The week turned out to be fairly busy with all of the Adopt-a-Family activities. We adopted two families in our group at work. Friday afternoon, Paul, Sheila and I went shopping to finish out the gifts for the families. Then Paul and I spent several hours yesterday wrapping presents. They are all piled up in the house waiting for delivery tomorrow along with the groceries. This is a favorite project of mine through the holiday's. I hope Dad doesn't mind that I spent the some of the money he sent on making Christmas better for families in need.
The power went out here last night. Turns out there was an explosion and fire at the substation and most of the county was without power. We talked in the dark and then went to bed early for a change. Paul's
CPAP machine wasn't working so he didn't sleep as well. I slept pretty well.
Today has a been a beautiful day with great weather. It has been cold but not nearly as cold as Colorado and Montana. But in a rare show, the sun was out and we could open the blinds and let the light in.
Love to all.
I didn't make it to the gym
So I didn't go swimming and I didn't get in the hot tub. I was in so much pain by the time that Paul came to get me that I had to take Vicodin just to get out to the car. It was excruciating and I knew I wouldn't be able to make the walk through the gym to get to the spa. That is just plain sad but true. So, I went home, stretched out and cuddled with Paul for 30 minutes and that made me feel better. That and the Vicodin was finally kicking in.
I watch "House" with great interest in his dependence on pain medication. There is a difference between addiction and dependence. House has moved to addiction. There are just days that I am dependent on pain medication the way a diabetic is dependent on insulin. I don't get the modern medical establishment. They would rather let people suffer in pain before risking taking a stand in defense of a patient that needs pain medication to survive the day. I don't need it everyday. I don't need it most days. But the days that I do need it, I don't want to have to fight with my doctor to get it. We treat animals better than we treat humans when it comes to pain management.
But that isn't why I am posting today. It is just an observation. Today has been a good day if you don't count the pain and we try to never count that since it is outside my circle of control. I have time at work to work on my personal development. I am taking a series of courses designed to aid me in getting my Professional HR certificate. I love learning new things although there are some fine details that I am finding harder to retain. Today's course was on sexual harassment. There are some very fine legal definitions that I struggled with in today's course. I guess I have to take another course to figure it out. Does that mean I failed sexual harassment? No. I got a 100% on the test but only by doing what I thought was the opposite of what I should answer. How's that for logic?
Larry is supposed to come over tonight. We haven't seen him in a while so we will take him out to dinner. He is harder to catch these days now that he is a working member of society. He works on the Portland Spirit being a bus boy. He likes his job and hopes to work his way up to server soon. The job caters to his performing schedule so that he can still make play practices. I look forward to seeing him. I will give him a hug from all of you.
Love to all.
I was going to share with you
A blog I had sent to me about a young man in Tennessee whose wife died of a mysterious illness two weeks after she got sick. He has two young boys and blogged his way through the entire situation. His love for his wife was no less than any of us for our spouses. It was freakishly odd the similarities in the situation. Unfortunately, due to some negative commentary, he took his blog down. It was a love story of the best kind. I wanted his wife to live but I could not change the outcome.
I am running the Adopt-A-Family program at work for our group. We have adopted two families. We are nearing the end of the program and this years turnout has been fantastic! It is so much fun to shop for those less fortunate than yourself, to buy clothes and toys. It makes my heart fill with all the joy of the holidays. Besides that, I get to use more of my gift wrap so maybe Paul will consent to letting me buy more sometime. :-) Have I mentioned my obsessive behavior about gift wrap?
I am having headaches almost everyday right now. It usually means that the fibromyalgia is in full flare up. I can attest to the fatigue and the rest of the pain. Oddly enough, I don't find myself overly depressed which often accompanies a flare up of the old fibro. I think I will talk Paul into going to the spa tonight. A swim and a sit in the hot tub would be terrific. It might even make my headache disappear which is what I really want most of all.
Well, I am off to see about being off. Love to all.
Another day in a beautiful life
I haven't posted in sometime. I have been hibernating or something. Okay, really, I have been very sad and I tend to withdraw from everyone except Paul when that happens. I couldn't figure out why I was so very sad. I tried to remember this time last year and I can't. I ran our group's Adopt-A-Family program. I don't remember it. Nick just told me I did a great job but I don't remember it. I remember little more than sadness, stress and more sadness. I miss her still.
We had a great Thanksgiving with my family in Colorado. The weather was perfect. My niece and nephew played and played and played with me. I lost at Pretty, Pretty Princess again! :-) The black ring is evil, evil I tell you. The adults played poker, told jokes and laughed. It was a good Thanksgiving.
I have seen the hand specialist now. Turns out most of the doctors were partially right in some regard or another. I have broken off a bone spur which is probably my biggest point of pain. I have degenerative arthritis in the thumb joint. I have an aggravated and swollen muscle. So, what to do? We tried the last conservative measure which was a cortisone shot into my thumb. I am in a splint molded to my hand. I go back in six weeks. We are probably going to have to have surgery to have that broken spur removed or I will always be in pain. They may also need to try and clean up the joint and remove some of the inflammation. Oh well. God will take care of it.
We are decorated for Christmas. We had a nice visit from Will, Karyn, Caleb, Luke and Zack. Life is good. The depression remains my biggest trial but I will get through it and over it because life is good.
Love to all.
